She comes easy..and hard... like a million gasps of breath that shake the very core of my being...
In the freckles on her face, I discover patterns of light and darkness that I never knew existed... the lightbringer... she calls herself... clothed in the Goth-like armour of shaved heads and Viking skulls...
Interpreted in the gleam of her eye ... a million stars dwindle away into nothingness as she seduces me... this one... paints my toenails black and corrupts my soul till the blackness extends beyond to eternity... in the blue and black intravenous drips of sanity.. I see the wrong of what I do... the death of a million hopes and dreams... dashed against the solid rocks of my perpetual madness. My solitary confinement... the padded walls I built around myself till they become the black hole through which nothing goes through... cosmically... the corruption of a million galaxies is the cause of my rather unique predicament.. Trips to outer space justified by the escapism I put myself through... every day is a nightmare... and then I realise that hell is not some place but a state of being that everyone is going through.. This world is hell... the devil seduces us by his ultimate ploy... the illusion of hope... the illusion of the belief in existence of some higher power... a cosmic joke where the punch line never comes...the iron gates lock themselves forever out of the corner of my eye and I see the rotating chasms of distance that creep between us like maggots on a cadaver....
She goes on... justifying all of my darkness... influencing me into slavery... And I transcend all definitions of society... an escaping phoenix...somehow not trapped in the fire of blue and black that ingratiates itself against its wings... appeasing... acquiescing. And seducing... blunders committed in the memory of some long forgotten divine vestige... meaning... purpose... illusions all... There is no meaning... there is no purpose... and as I look up at the stench and filth that pervades this city and I look at the blackness that extends forever... I realise what babies do when they wake up crying for no reason... There is no god... god doesn’t rape... god doesn’t kill... god doesn’t burn entities from another religion and stuff rags in their stomach... it is WE who do that... and I perceive of a time... A million years hence, when all that shall remain of the world is one smouldering nothingness that shall read “abandon all hope... ye who enter here”... and it shall serve as a testament to the futility of all life and then I see the devil laughing at its victory... the grime and soot of a million aeons clouds our eyes and she whispers to me again.. Into my ear... and I look back at her naked form spread out by my side.