foetus

She suspected that it was fine really...his betrayal of her.. in more ways than one
She was twenty.. and if he had betrayed her, she felt, in some way., responsible..
He still called her..every day.. and behind him, she could hear voices of his little kids, playing in the swings. She knew there were swings involved, of course, every happy house needed to have swings ... for where else could the children’s desire take as much flight as the feeling of weightlessness at the top of the swing..
I suppose there is a story here.. about how they met.. fell in love.. and how it all went downhill from there.. love.. hate.. perfunctory words so oft abused that they are devoid of any real meaning for most of the populace.. but it was all there.. in this story.. “a love which was more than love”...
It was all there, of course.. but fairly mundane and banal at the time..there had been no intercaste tensions, there had been no backdrops of communal violence against which they fought to win their love back..no families at war.. there was nothing really... just the old story of two lovers meeting and falling in love.. They were both hindus, from the same sub caste.. Nothing poetic about their love..
He called her at nights too..sometimes.. and he could her him pause periodically to take sips of the whiskey, or to take a drag at his cigarette..and then one day, he stopped calling
She later learnt that he had died.. in an accident..
When they found her body the wrists had been cut so deep.. the tendons had severed.. and the blood welled up all over the floor..

She comes easy..and hard... like a million gasps of breath that shake the very core of my being...
In the freckles on her face, I discover patterns of light and darkness that I never knew existed... the lightbringer... she calls herself... clothed in the Goth-like armour of shaved heads and Viking skulls...
Interpreted in the gleam of her eye ... a million stars dwindle away into nothingness as she seduces me... this one... paints my toenails black and corrupts my soul till the blackness extends beyond to eternity... in the blue and black intravenous drips of sanity.. I see the wrong of what I do... the death of a million hopes and dreams... dashed against the solid rocks of my perpetual madness. My solitary confinement... the padded walls I built around myself till they become the black hole through which nothing goes through... cosmically... the corruption of a million galaxies is the cause of my rather unique predicament.. Trips to outer space justified by the escapism I put myself through... every day is a nightmare... and then I realise that hell is not some place but a state of being that everyone is going through.. This world is hell... the devil seduces us by his ultimate ploy... the illusion of hope... the illusion of the belief in existence of some higher power... a cosmic joke where the punch line never comes...the iron gates lock themselves forever out of the corner of my eye and I see the rotating chasms of distance that creep between us like maggots on a cadaver....
She goes on... justifying all of my darkness... influencing me into slavery... And I transcend all definitions of society... an escaping phoenix...somehow not trapped in the fire of blue and black that ingratiates itself against its wings... appeasing... acquiescing. And seducing... blunders committed in the memory of some long forgotten divine vestige... meaning... purpose... illusions all... There is no meaning... there is no purpose... and as I look up at the stench and filth that pervades this city and I look at the blackness that extends forever... I realise what babies do when they wake up crying for no reason... There is no god... god doesn’t rape... god doesn’t kill... god doesn’t burn entities from another religion and stuff rags in their stomach... it is WE who do that... and I perceive of a time... A million years hence, when all that shall remain of the world is one smouldering nothingness that shall read “abandon all hope... ye who enter here”... and it shall serve as a testament to the futility of all life and then I see the devil laughing at its victory... the grime and soot of a million aeons clouds our eyes and she whispers to me again.. Into my ear... and I look back at her naked form spread out by my side.

She crossed her heart and hoped to die…and I could see the trickle of blood already starting to flow from the crucifix on her chest….

It happened slowly, like cold water breaking., All around them, droplets of water stood still for a moment...sparkling in the borrowed light of the building behind...before crashing on the pavement below ..
He said her name...
“Yes, love....”she replied..
And disappeared in a flash of blue light as the aliens came..

Hatred
All consuming…all destroying
As I go into the walls of the lords abode
And I ask the lord
Lord..forgive me
I know I should not hate
I know that hatred corrodes
But it is this invisible entity inside
That implants those seeds
The lord replies
My child..hatred u shall carry
In your mind
Hatred against what has gone wrong in your life
possibly hatred against what I have done
But you have to realize that it is this hatred
Which leads to sadness
It is this sadness
Which leads to tears
It is these tears
Which cleanse you
Of your evil
For just like a dirty utensil gets washed by the ashes
So shall your soul be cleaned by tears
You have to realize
That although the situations are sent by me
Your response is yours only
So do not damn this hatred
Do not avoid it
But embrace it..
And realize just how much sadness you need in your life
Be sad when you want to be
Not when the circumstances tell you to be
Be happy my child
And always have faith

All y questions answered
I knew that I was the master of my own life
And all emotions could only enter my mind when I wanted them to
I could be happy when I wanted to
And sad when I wanted to
And I prayed to the lord
And I knew
That even if my faith was shaken
It would be regained..when I wanted it to
And it would be restored when it should be

My tormented soul was now rested
Atleast till it was troubled by any futher questions……




My lord……

The new age Freaks

inspired by Charles Manson



Humanity is by nature,
blind to what it abhors.
We confine ourselves to solitary confinement,
lock the portals,close the doors.



"Oh the impertinent fool, look how he tries to decipher our gods,
Abusing his faculties of reason,look how he probes ,look how he plods."

And so we lie,each in his own chamber of madness
as the anesthesia takes root,the scars become numb,the pain becomes less.


Until it disappears,
and we become automatons,no face ,no name
Grotesque demoniacal entities
caress the devil,caress its infernal flames


As the scythe cuts across time,and rips our very souls across the aeons,
the cherubs scatter in fear,
the church is destroyed and the bells ring the final chime.

out of the ashes,are fashioned new morbid entities
skulls full of maggots,yet they hold their head up with pride

As the smoke clears,birth of a new species, hate us with an ardent fervour,
make way ppl, for the NEW AGE FREAKS HAVE ARRIVED!!!!

“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”

Neil Gaiman

First war in Heaven

Piquant, sordid reality

Cramping thoughts..

Striving to rise above the grave..

As the sheep are fed to the butcher…

All lined up outside the chambers…clothes taken off..one by one..

The lover searches fir the ones who can lead him

To the dull arms of his dead consort

Abhorring the flames..

As the fragrance comes

Driven to insanity…

Laughter erases the silver blades that fall on those free from carnage

The survivors stare at the rotting carcass with their mangled arms and scrawny bodies

They shall be the next sacrifice..

To the caprices of the one..

Cut out the prohet's eyes and sew his eyeballs.. blind vestiges...

Inspiration illumined.. the angles scream..

And the daemon arises..not solitary this time

Peaceful Elijah stretches his hand and asks for the key..

And the Daemon replies.. “My name is Legion..for we are Many..”

Sight

The Distant cosmic dream,

Empowered by the plight of our race

Speeds towards us

Perhaps we are all insane and death liberates us from these fetters

Of this mortal realm

Underneath the shouts of the capitalist monsters and the growls of machinery, initiative crumbles…the voices of spirits reach us across the ages… shouting vociferously their disdain at what we have become

The faceless nightmare which was only a possibility top the ancients has manifested in all its medusa-esque beauty

Are you repelled by today’s comparison to the distorted beauty of the gorgon….

Don’t be

For now that our reality has manifested…we should learn to view beauty in the grotesque

The twisted ones are beautiful… and the beautiful ones are twisted to match the conception of society…whose jaws snap to devour every voice of dissent that arises out of its womb