The terrible, the grotesque never deceive. They take your comfort and divide it up into little snails that crawl all over your brain and bite you at the hardest places. So when you feel the hook of lady despair snagging your heart, thank your demon.
Mine comes to me these days. Dressed as different people, wearing different shades of purple and grey. yeah, you have all met her. That little nagging voice at the back of your head that sounds like you can never achieve, never be, never survive.
Mine sounds like the wicked witch of the west. I tried pouring holy water on her, but it never works. It only makes her laugh harder and makes me scared and rusted and bloated on the insides. Where can you run, she asks. Go ahead, change your job. Change your city, country continent.
But always, always, I will be there. Your own personal Demon., Yours truly. and You know why it is. She has been sent by the devil. If she drives a sane man like me to insanity, she earns her wings and gets to torture me in Hell
A friend of mine chided me yesterday. She has known me for 7 years now, and according to her, I have never been happy. When I was in school, I thought happiness is about going to college. When I was in college, I thought happiness will be in getting a new phone, new clothes, new jewellery. But it is not about that. Happiness is so much more isn’t it.
My happiness has always been about having, proving, taking. Never about Just being. In order to be truly happy, one must BE. Sadness is a very selfish emotion. I am a writer at heart, have always been . And I realised that by being inward directed, looking inside myself, I was ignoring so much more outside the world. As I speak now, it is raining outside.
The rain clings to the window pane like a lover caressing his beloved's hair. And THAT is the holy water against my demon. The moment, and the exhilaration that it brings along with it. I want to go up, on stage, perform, and channel all that energy into bringing joy into the lives of other people. Watch this space. The muse in my head is not done emptying her Magic bowels yet
Mine comes to me these days. Dressed as different people, wearing different shades of purple and grey. yeah, you have all met her. That little nagging voice at the back of your head that sounds like you can never achieve, never be, never survive.
Mine sounds like the wicked witch of the west. I tried pouring holy water on her, but it never works. It only makes her laugh harder and makes me scared and rusted and bloated on the insides. Where can you run, she asks. Go ahead, change your job. Change your city, country continent.
But always, always, I will be there. Your own personal Demon., Yours truly. and You know why it is. She has been sent by the devil. If she drives a sane man like me to insanity, she earns her wings and gets to torture me in Hell
A friend of mine chided me yesterday. She has known me for 7 years now, and according to her, I have never been happy. When I was in school, I thought happiness is about going to college. When I was in college, I thought happiness will be in getting a new phone, new clothes, new jewellery. But it is not about that. Happiness is so much more isn’t it.
My happiness has always been about having, proving, taking. Never about Just being. In order to be truly happy, one must BE. Sadness is a very selfish emotion. I am a writer at heart, have always been . And I realised that by being inward directed, looking inside myself, I was ignoring so much more outside the world. As I speak now, it is raining outside.
The rain clings to the window pane like a lover caressing his beloved's hair. And THAT is the holy water against my demon. The moment, and the exhilaration that it brings along with it. I want to go up, on stage, perform, and channel all that energy into bringing joy into the lives of other people. Watch this space. The muse in my head is not done emptying her Magic bowels yet
It's intensive...wonderful! I shall love to read anything you write.
ReplyDeleteOnly Ii could not understand who you are! Are you one of the member of our meetup community?
Hi, I just saw this, yes, i am a member of two meetup communities. But I have not had a chance to go to a meetup for a while now.
ReplyDelete